Pre Jap Intern Army Rant

Warning, much unorganized ranting ahead with bad English that will prolly make me sound like an angsty, salty 5 year old kid who cant get his fav toy, u can stop here n keep scrolling. My apology.

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I thought the nightmare of my NS days was well over when I ORDed 2 years ago, but guess it continues to haunt me even till today. I have always been complaining about my NS life, and this post prolly serves as a consolidation (or recap, if u r a close fren u prolly heard it a million times) of most of my NS complaints.

So in year 2015 I got enlisted just like everyone else, kind of enjoyed bmt, had some memorable times and had high hope to get into SCS/OCS. But karma of not studying in J2 strikes me hard and I failed my Alvl, so aft bmt I disrupted, took 8 months to study back in HC and lucky enough to get a grade that got me into NUS. But the unlucky part started as well when i got my army posting "4th Battalion Singapore Infantry Regiment"(4SIR) for short as a rifleman. Which is well known as one of the worst army posting, prolly the lowest lifeform in the entire army hierarchy, whenever I told someone that I was a rifleman in uni, the most common response I got was "oh shag" and "I feel sorry for you bro". And the fucked up thing I realize about the NS system is that it is biased towards people with higher education cert, JC and poly kids get into command school easily while those that are not so privileged dont even stand a chance to touch the doorstep of command school, even though I've met many people in 4SIR that has outstanding charisma and leadership quality. I endured the grueling 2 years in 4SIR, carried out my responsibility without causing trouble to others. Even tho the 2 years were shit, my peers and I endured the biased and unreasonable treatments from those above. I always look at those that downed pes and having a good life thinking "y cant I do that too", but guess in the end its a mix of my balls being too small and my platoon mates in HQ that made me not to take that path and have a ez way out. Often I hear people who got posted to various other vocations telling me stories of how good their life is, never have to do ippt or reservice or people from Guards, NDU and Commando bearing all the honor and glory on their chest. I was salty, fking salty and always will be. Life is not fair, what have we done to deserve such treatment? Ppl always tell us at the end of the day we just have to suck it up. I always thought that in such a system of conscription where we sacrifice our 2 years of youth, there will be at least something being done to correct the unfairness within, at least better treatment for those who suffered more in these 2 years. But guess in the end the system is just designed to exploit every bit of you until one day you are too old to hold a gun. My left leg is no longer as stable as my left leg due to an old injury, and my back suffer from chronic back pain sometimes. 

On top of all the ns rubbish, there are 10 more cycles of reservice which always happen in summer holiday of uni, because I was a rifleman who is combat fit, did my duty and nvr down pes. Where people who down pes or from other vocations will never face this problem. Recently, I got rejected for my deferment due to some system error in ippt which the higher up took the blame on me and came up with stupid rules. I was informed to clear my 2019/2020 ippt window 1 week before I'm flying over to japan. Now I was informed that the final call is still up to the CO. Talking about NS nowadays is just extra triggering knowing there are so many ppl around me that dont have to go through all these bullshit. Today in the lift, I had a chat with one of the acquaintance from RC4 which goes like this, 

"eh xy where u going?" 

"ippt" 

"wa shag"

"u doing?"

"no i dont need i was C9L9"

Tho he's like double my size and actively plays sports. And I'm just this scrawny cockroach looking guy.

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Life is unfair I know, I'm already very privileged in many ways comparing to many others out there I know, but this is my spam acc, and you guys who r reading this are my closer frens, I just want to vent out my anger and frustration which has been brought up again due to the recent deferment problems. I already gave them my time, body and soul for 2 years, pls dont affect my future...